Category: Uncategorized

  • Restarting and Relaxing

    Restarting and Relaxing

    Years have passed, multiple children born and the world now balances on the top of a pyramid rather than in the embrace of a cradle.

    An activity like writing a blog becomes increasingly difficult to pick back up the longer that it sits idle. The same holds true for other things like working out or playing an instrument.

    It’s as though there’s a constant snowfall in our minds. As an activity sits idle, a thin layer of snow starts to form. If months slide by, our abandoned pursuits become hidden beneath a smooth blanket of white.

    The only activities that haven’t become buried by this metaphorical blizzard in my experience are those that I’ve turned into daily habits. Habits are like a well worn paths through the snow. They’re trails so often traveled that nothing along the path has the opportunity to become buried.

    This post is me picking up a shovel and rediscovering this blog again. I encourage anyone reading this to do the same with something that you previously enjoyed. Whether it’s a guitar, foreign language, running or taking photos.

    Start small. If it’s an old guitar, just pick it up, strum a few chords and let go of any guilt that you may have for setting it down in the first place. There’s nothing wrong with starting and restarting (assuming we’re talking hobbies and not feeding the dog).

    If it’s something that you want to build into a habit, practice it daily for a month. You can use an app like Streaks or Reminders to keep it fresh in your mind. Build it into your calendar to make sure you set aside the time it requires. With time, it will become part of your daily routine and you’ll actually build stronger neural pathways with repetition.

    Fall into it and enjoy it. Rediscover something that will help you relax and let things breath. Allow time to unwind and let your shoulders fall. Disconnect for a bit and reengage with the things that give you the opportunity to find a state of flow.

    Recommended books: Flow by by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi & Atomic Habits by James Clear.

  • A Drive Through The Woods

    A Drive Through The Woods

    I have a beautiful drive into work in the morning. A winding road carves through pine forest delivering spectacular views from behind the wheel of our Forester. I often miss the views when my mind wanders, but I make a real effort to notice the scenery each day.

    The NC State School of Forestry owns a stretch of our morning ride. Last year they cut down a large section of pines to the study the process of regrowth. They left a few of the tall, skinny pines standing in order to seed the section that was cut down. Around the remaining pines, the ground was bare. Nothing was left except small shrubs and the remnants of the great trees cut down by the lumberjacks (without the flannel shirts and maple syrup glazed beards are they still considered lumberjacks?). Simply put it looked like a sierra club crime scene after their handy work last year. The remaining trees looked lonely and bare.

    While the happy little forest had a black eye, day-by-day we grew used to the new views. We were sad in the beginning to see the woods thinned, but grew to enjoy seeing life spring back from the forest floor. It isn’t roaring back, but rather creeping back. You won’t notice large changes morning-to-morning, but you will month-to-month. The forest is healing and there is an underlying sense of reassurance in watching it do so.

    A few miles down is a bit of a different story. The land bordering the research property is owned by a development company. Around the same time as the research grounds, the trees on this property were leveled as well. Rather than the patience of nature filling the new space, builders started tacking up houses.

    Bulldozers, dump trucks and teams of men cobbled these 4 houses together before I got around to hanging Natalie’s wine and design paintings resting on the floor at home. Every time we passed by the build site, there was a new addition. In the time it took the shrubs of the nearby research grounds to reach 5 inches, 8 enormous houses had been built.

    I’m not trying to point fingers at habitat destruction, but rather to point out the difference between nature’s rhythm and the one we have created.

    It’s better right? We get more things done so we’re happier. We wolf down our breakfast, tailgate the whole ride into to work and leave the game before the start of the 9th inning to beat the traffic to save time. We fit so much in, our day looks like an efficient dance choreographed by an air traffic controller. But is it worth it?

    Nah…I don’t think so

    Living at this pace is doable, but it has a cost. Almost anything we do outside of what’s natural has a cost. In the same way eating chemically modified fast food makes us gain weight, moving outside our natural rhythm causes stress that is completely avoidable.

    Now I’m not suggesting we join a commune and live in the woods to grow food and weave hemp loin cloths. What I do think we should do is slow down and relax a little bit. I get caught up in the stampede like everyone else, but I try to operate on what I call “relaxed urgency”. I work diligently to meet deadlines and timetables, but try to relax in the process.

    For example, a lot of people get bent out of shape when someone, who has spent a considerable amount of time on this planet, is hunched over the wheel going a mile or two under the speed limit. This may fly on a Sunday afternoon, but it gets most peoples’ blood boiling during rush hour…but why?

    Let’s say that you live 10 miles from work. On a perfect day you’ll push the speed a bit and go 50 MPH. However, this morning you get behind a Cadillac going 43 in a 45 MPH zone. You’re seeing red right? It ruins the good thing you had going. You can’t concentrate on the music floating out of the speakers. The comfortable handle on your steering wheel that you had earlier tightens into a Kung Fu grip. You’re going to get there a whole…1 Minute 57 seconds later than if you were going your usual speed.

    And to be clear we aren’t losing that time off our lives. We’re just spending it in a car seat rather than a couch or office chair. We spend so much time and money on our cars, why not take more time to enjoy being inside them? The only way you are really going to lose that time off your life is if you get stressed about it.

    There are some instances where rushing is important. Running from a black bear comes to mind (natural instincts are good here), but mostly anything else is improved by a calm mind. Be prompt, but relax when rushing won’t make much of a difference. That doesn’t mean taking 2 weeks to respond to an email, but why not take an extra 3 minutes to read over it a bit. Feel your fingers typing to keys and use the words that you feel fit that email best. If you’re mindful both you and your product will benefit.

    Try to check in and notice how you’re feeling from time-to-time. Ask, why do I feel rushed right now? Why are we getting a coffee to go instead of having a cup in the cafe? If it feels rushed and you feel stressed, slow down. Drink a cup of coffee in the café and concentrate or the flavor and aroma. You’ll have more energy (the caffeine helps). Lao Tzu ties a bow on this subject when he reminds us “Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.”

  • Napoleon’s Wagon

    Napoleon’s Wagon

    Every morning when I wake up, I amble down the stairs, set the coffee to brew and take Napoleon the French bulldog out to go the bathroom. This is our routine and it’s usually executed with amazing precision. This morning started out as usual. Napoleon snorts as he trots around the yard finding the perfect spot to kick off the morning’s festivities by watering the lawn. As he settled into his usual 6 inch patch of dead grass to start act 1 of 2 this morning he noticed the lawn man’s truck. As soon as he saw that shiny green trailer attached to that Ford pickup truck, he forgot the purpose of our mission and started barking at the vacant truck.

    From an outsider’s perspective, Napoleon has already won. There is not a landscaper alive that can get grass to grow in Napoleons 6″ x 12″ domain. However, this didn’t stop Napoleon from completely abandoning act 2 of our performance. Round and round the yard we went with Napoleon keeping eye contact with the big green trailer, like the familiar face of the moon staring down at earth. His large buggy eyes waiting for the lawn man to make an appearance. Unfortunately, after a few laps, we had to abandon the mission and stamp it as incomplete. Coffee had been brewed, sweet cereal had yet to be eaten and the New York Times was waiting for a set of eye balls to grace its pages. Before heading to work, we had another go with the same result. Napoleon was still fixated on the green trailer and we had to leave the morning at a 50% completion.

    People usually look at their own mistakes or those of other people to learn from life’s lessons. We rarely look at all the other critters around us as a source to pull out some philosophical proverb to learn from. We don’t dwell on a kamikaze honey bee when he gives his life to sting an unsuspecting mailman making his rounds. Nor do we really dive deep into thought when seagulls abandon the tranquil Carolina Coast for a Costco parking lot. So why would we put my froggy little friend’s bathroom habits under a microscope (figuratively of course)?

    It’s because he made a mistake that we are all guilty of making. Our day-to-day lives are quite similar to Napoleon’s morning. We set out in the morning with something we want to accomplish. Something worthwhile that will add substance to our day. Whether it be writing a letter to a friend, going on a refreshing run or going for a hike. We all have things that we crave to accomplish, but we lose ourselves in things that simply don’t matter. Before we know it, we have spent an hour searching the latest news sites and stalking friends-of-friends-of-friends on Facebook. Rather than writing a letter to keep up with our friend in Chile, we are keeping up with the Kardashians. We follow the shiny trailer wherever it rolls.

    How can we hope to avoid this? By being mindful of where we are at different points of the day. It’s easy to lose yourself on a task and forget what you set out to do. We all do it. The key is to gain that mindfulness back and hop back on the path to the things that make us truly happy. All it takes are a few deep breaths and just putting one foot forward towards something we care about. It’s never too late in your day to reclaim it and make it your own. Just like Napoleon on his walk this afternoon, we all have our second chances.